"It was dark. The pitch-black dark of the longest night of winter swallowed up the light and succeeded in reducing our perception of our surroundings. Somehow I seemed a little more aware, a little more able to see within the darkness than others. I was in the stern of a long canoe-like boat with a group of people. The dark, inky cold water stabbed at the sides of the boat like sharp knives and made a distinct cutting noise. We were prisoners of those seated in the front who were dressed in Nazi garb. I looked at my fellow prisoners. I didnt know anyone except for a priest who seemed familiar. He was dressed in a plain brown priests robe with a hood like those worn in the Middle Ages. His eyes were vacant except for sadness. Next to me sat a curious fellow. He was tall and thin and appeared two dimensional, except for the three-dimensional baseball cap that he wore. Upon closer examination he seemed to be made of flattened Silly Putty upon which was embossed the inked image of a person. He reminded me of the cartoon character Oh, no, Mr. Bill popular at the time in the media. But he was different. He was not clownish in any way but rather serious and determined. He reminded me of someone, someone I knew but I couldnt remember who he was or how I knew him. He was slightly more fleshed out and slightly more expressive. We made eye contact and stared at one another with a knowing look. A long period of Stillness occurred. Finally he smiled at me and then said softly to everyone in the back of the boat Hush. Everyone became instantly silent. I could only hear the sound of the knife-edged water. He took a plain-toothed saw from his pocket. It began to glow with a pure White Light, which was like a laser. He quietly and slowly sawed the boat in half with the laser beam separating us from our guards. He did this so deftly that they did not notice. We silently floated away from the bow of the boat and our captors. As dawn approached and with it blessed Light, we reached shore. We gathered on a sandy beach. The terrain ahead was rocky and barren. The sand was hot underfoot, but the place felt like home and felt safe. I realized I was dressed in the same brown robe as the priests. We discussed our situation. Someone said that a disaster was coming. The Silly Putty Man tried to calm everyone. He appeared more life-like and more real. He put his hands on the ground and I saw Light coming from his hands. He then, like an Indian Scout, placed his ear to the ground. He said that no one was coming. He felt no tremor of an impending earthquake, no disaster. He felt only the pulse of the Earth. Some were calmed by his words but others persisted to discuss events of apocalyptic proportion. The crowd began to talk about some kind of Light that was coming. Most thought it was the Light of a nuclear explosion. Others had different ideas of doom and destruction. The Silly Putty Man quieted everyone and said that a Light was coming. The priest agreed. The only way to be saved he said was to look at it. He spoke with a quiet authority. It was salvation not doom, he said. There was a heated debate among those who had gathered. Everyone was trying to decide what to do when the Light came. Turn away, hide, or face it as the Silly Putty Man had counseled. It suddenly became palpably Still. No sound, no discussion, hardly even the whisper of a breath being taken filled the eternal Stillness, which actually lasted but for a moment. Within the quiet and Still energy that pervaded everyone and everywhere each person who had gathered made a choice.
The Stillness broke with a sudden and wondrous sound, far away and coming closer. We all knew it heralded the Light. The priest turned first to face the horizon. The Silly Putty Man took my hand and we turned as well. A few others did, too. But I noticed that many hid among the rocks and shielded their faces. Among them was my good friend, Cookie. I looked as a bright, illuminating, and transforming Light filled the sky. It glowed white hot and then red and then violet. As I looked everything froze for a moment, another moment of eternal Stillness. The rocks, the Earth, the people seemed like glass. For a split second I saw two glowing suns in the sky. I gazed directly at them until there was just one, pulsating orb. As we were pulled into its glorious Light everything changed polarity. The world appeared like the negative of a photograph for a few moments. And then everything switched again. We were on the beach and color was back in the world, more vivid than it had been before. Everything was iridescent. I felt a tremendous sense of peace. The world seemed somehow to be more luminous and different in ways I could not describe. I noticed that some obvious things had changed. Those who had hidden from the Light, including Cookie, had disappeared. I thought they had vaporized. The Silly Putty Man had taken on three-dimensional form. He was still tall and thin, but fleshed out and completely real. He wore blue jeans and a blue and white striped shirt that matched his baseball cap. I was not attentive to his looks, his face. I was only aware of how he felt and how he acted. This stranger had the resonance of a Warrior, the manner of a shaman. He periodically placed his palms on the Earth and felt the pulse of Her heartbeat. At one point he felt the pulse quicken. We all felt the ground slightly shake. The Spiritual Warrior smiled at me and put his ear to the ground. He said he could hear the sound of horses approaching. The priest was certain it was a dark force coming to recapture us. The stranger thought it was just horses. There was disagreement and some panic. The priest said we had to flee, but we had no horses. The Spiritual Warrior smiled and picked up a stick and said that if we needed horses we could have them. He smiled at me and placed one hand on my heart and the other on the surface of the ground. I felt a powerful connection with him and with the Earth. Suddenly all the twigs became horses. Everyone laughed with glee and began to mount the powerful and swift steeds. The Warrior of the Spirit and I rode together on one horse. We galloped over the rocky iridescent terrain until we came to a spiraling tunnel of crystal blue light. We all entered the tunnel. Attached to the spinning sides were luscious fruits that gleamed like precious gems of ruby, amethyst, and emerald. The fruits glistened in the light of the swirling tunnel and cast alternating lights of different colors. We were happy to have the ripe fruit that would sustain us in our journey. We moved toward a very bright Light at the end of the spiral, its focal point. We reached that Light and stepped into an open space. A small hill or mound, which was dominated by a magnificent and beautiful tree, framed the horizon. We were in a place very much like the Earth but new and fresh. The air smelled of flowers. The grass was green and lush. The sky was azure blue. The suns light was clear and warm. I looked at all who gathered there. I recognized some including my friend, Maia, and we smiled at one another. Some who had gathered were beings from other places but obviously happy to be with us in this New Earth. Despite our differences we all felt unified and at peace. The priest exclaimed, This is the New Jerusalem! The stranger smiled and said, I hope we have some carpenters here who do not have messianic complexes. We still have a lot of work to do. We all laughed. We were joyful to be in this fresh New World of peace and harmony. The Spiritual Warrior took my hand, and I experienced the most supreme happiness I had ever felt. The magnificent tree on the mound began to glow. I thought for some reason it was the Tree of Life. I knew it represented our final destination."
had this dream in the early morning of January 1, 1982. I had been alone for
most of that New Years Eve. I had returned home early from a party at
the Jain Meditation Center in Pittsburgh. The party had done little to cheer
me. As I drove up in front of my century old Victorian House, it loomed over
me. It had been my first home. The only home I really ever had. Just six months
before, my second husband and I had bought it. Now he was gone. Another divorce,
another disappointment. I felt momentarily overwhelmed by the house. Such
a big house! How could I ever pay for it myself? Take care of it myself? But
I knew I would. I knew even then that the house I had been guided to buy was
an important part of my own destiny path. I took a deep breath as I walked
up the steps to the front porch. Chimes jingled in the wind. I didnt
know how I would maintain the house by myself, but I would. Somehow I knew
I would find the courage and the way to overcome the obstacles. I didnt
know at the time that I would take in boarders and take on a second job as
a teacher, and a third job as a visualization therapist for cancer patients
to remain there. Any obstacle eventually became a stepping-stone to the future.
But I didnt know that then. On that New Years Eve I felt sad and overwhelmed.
As I entered the door, Jessie, my ever-faithful Maine coon cat, greeted me. He and I hailed in the New Year together. The phone rang. It was a friend with whom I hadnt spoken to since 1979. I was surprised to hear from him. He had been a part of a small group of people who had been the focus of my life from 1975 to 1979.
His voice was tired and drawn. He said, Just called to wish you a Happy New Year. Whats new?
I told him of the impending divorce. He was not surprised. His voice changed and revealed the resonant music I remembered in it. He was compassionate. Caring. We had little else to say to one another.
I could hear the unspoken question: You havent found what you searched for since you left. What was it all about? Will we ever know?
I hung up the phone and cried. I had not contacted him or any of the others from that small group in three years. I had been one of a group of five people seeking Spiritual truths. Together we had contacted Spiritual Guides through automatic writing. Together we had explored past lives, the nature of the Soul, and debated the apocalyptic future those Guides had predicted. Eventually I felt dissatisfied and uneasy. While much of what the Guides said seemed prophetic, much of it seemed ego-based and silly. For example they repeatedly said that the Anti-Christs name was Alexis or Alex and that his dark presence would be felt in Pittsburgh near the turn of the century. I didnt believe in an Anti-Christ, let alone one named Alex. I felt I was on the wrong path and with the wrong group of people for me. In 1978 both the Guides and the famous psychic, Dennis Cooper, revealed to me that my own Spiritual Path would not manifest until I was fifty. I felt even more disheartened. Some unfathomable ache in my heart and a mysterious haunting on the edge of my memory made it impossible for me to be with my Spiritual partners any longer. I saw a different future than the one of which the Guides spoke. I saw a future that was one of transformation, not one of doom and destruction. Somehow I knew I would find my way to that future and I hoped with every fiber of my being that my search would not take me twenty years. My friends call reminded me of the Guides who were loving and, despite their dire vision of the future, hopeful. On the eve of 1982 I realized once again that the journey and those Spiritual Guides were intertwined. It always was and I thought it always would be. The relentless beckoning of the Spiritual journey had never left me, never would. I wanted to call my old friend back. But I had nothing to offer. Nothing! I believed in the extraordinary experiences that had touched our lives. I felt a connection that would not let go even though distance and choices separated us. I knew he felt it, too. All of us did. I drank a small glass of wine and toasted to his happiness and to the happiness of my other old friends. I felt his presence just for a moment and then I saw a brilliant flash of White Light. And then another.
The Guides, I declared acknowledging their presence. I smiled and said to the lights that continued to burst forth, Yes, and to your happiness as well.
I went to bed just before midnight. It was my first night in my new waterbed. Jessie was unsure of his footing and let me know his displeasure. I loved it. I settled into the heated, encased liquid and closed my eyes. I heard the noises of bells, firecrackers, and a few gunshots at midnight. People were in the street singing. Percy cuddled close to me. He purred in my ear. After much thought, I relented. For the first time in three years I asked the Guides for guidance. I decided that since I had relented, I would not waste the opportunity. I asked the Universe and the Guides to present me with a dream of the exacting map of my spiritual journey toward transformation for this lifetime. I wanted to know the exact markers of that journey up to the Millennium and beyond. I also asked for guidance to successfully complete that journey. I fell asleep asking for a prophetic dream or prediction. It was delivered. The dream I thought was highly symbolic, but I knew, nonetheless, that it was the map for which I had asked. Nothing in my experience or in my own imagination could have prepared me at the time to even comprehend that in so many ways the New Jerusalem Dream was not symbolic, but exacting and literal. I had asked and I had received. I wouldnt realize the exacting significance of the dream for over twenty years.
Over the years I thought often of that dream. I contemplated its images in my meditations and the dream fleshed out with more detail to guide me. For many years after that dream I walked between two worlds. In one I was a therapist and the director of an innovative treatment program for teenagers who were drug addicted and/or suffered from mental illnesses. I actually pioneered that program in 1982, my 33rd year, and spent the next fourteen years devoted to my clients and to the program’s success. I married again in 1987 to a man of integrity, self-confidence, good humor, wisdom and unconditional love. My life in the mundane world was busy, and I was content and fulfilled. My husband’s devout atheism did not prevent him from supporting and nurturing me in the spiritual journey that increasingly became the focus of my life. Unlike the mates of my various spiritual partners and my own previous romantic partners, Paul was not jealous in any way of the various spiritual partners with whom I shared that part of my life. In fact, Paul’s atheism and scientific approach to life in an odd and comforting way supported my walk in the other world, the one of the Spirit. The current of spiritual energy and its relentless call intensified for me in late 1987 as well. During that year I meditated alone on the days in August of the Cosmic Convergence. Something occurred during those meditations and by 1988 I was again focused on a Spiritual Path. In 1991 after the conclusion of the Gulf War, my current Spiritual partner convinced me to consult the Guides once more through automatic writing. After so many years I doubted success, but they responded immediately. The writing was different in both context and form. Announcing themselves as Planetary Guardians, they spoke of the recent Gulf War and said that it had occurred prematurely. They predicted that the seeds of the Destruction Path had been planted in that war and would mature shortly after the turn of the century. They spoke of time speeding up and of dramatic changes, of a Transformation Path, and of a Spiritual Master who would join me in my journey. They called this Master Soul, “The Third,” and heralded his arrival. I insisted on a “reality test” for the Planetary Guardians. I asked simply for them to predict something that would occur before the end of the year that could not be changed. Without hesitation they proclaimed that the Soviet Union would not exist. They refused to elaborate on the daring and unlikely prediction. At the end of the year, the Soviet Union ceased to exist and I went back and contemplated the other information from that singular automatic writing with Planetary Guardians. I dismissed the predictions of disaster and I allowed myself to have hope for the other wonderful predictions. I once again opened myself to their guidance and to their love. Beginning in 1992 I dreamed often of the Guardians, who appeared in my dreams as Beings of Light who illuminated my path. Occasionally I had precognitive and lucid dreams that symbolically revealed the same dark and menacing future of which the Guides of the 70’s had spoken. My Guardian dreams and my precognitive dreams were in stark contrast to one another. They revealed two futures, vastly different from one another. During this same time period, with the help of a dear friend, I tried to unravel the nature and purpose of the extraterrestrial experiences I had had all of my life. Beginning in 1995, dreams of Transmissions of Light, of which I had dreamed occasionally all of my life, intensified. The Light Transmissions took the forms of swirling geometric shapes that somehow mysteriously communicated information. Through these Transmissions of Light, I learned about shifts in consciousness, lowering EM fields, polar shifts, Cycles of Light, multi-dimensional realities, Light Densities, and a Transformation Path that the Guardians called “The Creation Path.” I dutifully recorded the complex information in my journals realizing that full understanding would not come to me until I began to experience the process the information described. From the Geometric Light Transmissions, I learned more about “The Third,” as well. Together we would forge a spiritual partnership that would resonate with love and the earnest desire to see a future that was transforming rather than destructive. The play of colors, which vacillated between awareness in the Light and periods of equal Darkness, would not plague us as it had others and myself in the journey of the spirit that had been my life experience. I had discovered much about some of the things the 1982 dream symbolically revealed, but much was yet to be experienced and remained still elusive in meaning. The energies of Destruction, Stillness, and Creation that formed the matrix of the dream occupied my thoughts and meditations throughout the early nineties.
On January 7, 1996 my walk between the worlds of the mundane and of the spirit became more polarized and more dramatic. On that night I entered a lucid dream and began a Vision Quest. In the dream I entered a Vortex of Light that took me to a Garden. Each night for an entire year during lucid dreaming I entered that same Garden that was much like the Earth, but not the Earth. It was there that I first encountered the energies of enlightenment from both the Earth and the Spirit that continue to guide me. It was there that I was introduced to seven lessons that the experience in the Garden enabled me to Master. It was there that I found a world of peace. Conversely and almost immediately in early 1996 the world of mass consciousness shadowed for me and continued to do so all during that powerful year of awakening. As the year progressed I knew that I had to leave the profession that I loved to devote myself solely to the Spiritual Path that was being defined in my life through the Vision Quest experience. Despite that knowledge, I continued to try to walk between the worlds until a more suitable time arrived for me to retire from my job. On December 22, 1996, the Vision Quest experience ended. I was left with a shadowed world that darkened my waking hours and a blessed Stillness full of spiritual potential in my sleep and in my meditations. On December 26 I became ill and fainted. A sudden onset of severe hypertension became the dark night of the body for me. The decision I was unable to make was made for me. By the end of 1996 I could no longer work. Medications did little to ease the life threatening illness that had suddenly and unexpectedly changed my life. The mundane world had shadowed, but in my heart and in the Stillness I held the memory of a bright Light and a transformation that was present in the Garden of the Vision Quest. While I was physically ill, I had never been more spiritually focused and clear. I sometimes even thought that my hypertension was the physical symptom of these two dynamic forces-a shadowed and dark world and a healing and a transforming Light that I felt was approaching. I spent a great deal of my time in 1997 in meditation and quiet contemplation. The illness had at least gifted me with the opportunity to do what I loved most.
During my illness I contemplated again my 1982 dream. I knew it was a map of the territory that I had traveled and was traveling again. I thought it symbolically contained the signposts that clearly marked the course of my journey. I knew that the Vision Quest and its landscape were also a part of the same map. Both the dream and the Vision Quest had emerged from a deep and hidden part of memory to guide me. What was my particular experience of the Darkness symbolically represented in my New Jerusalem Dream? Were the Nazi soldiers dark parts of myself that still held me captive? Or did they represent a more global force that the early Guides predicted would begin to hold the world captive, in conflict, and in suffering shortly after the New Millennium. Was the liberating Spiritual Warrior another unknown part of myself or was he a person, as I suspected? In the Stillness I felt the approach of that Spiritual Warrior and the dawning of a new and wonderful Light. Would the Silly Putty Man who became a Spiritual Master and Warrior, no matter who or what he was, arrive in time to guide me safely to shore where my illness no longer disabled me, to the Light that was my salvation, and to the vortex that was a bridge from this world to another? I still did not understand the meaning of the symbols in that dream, but I did understand this without a doubt. I was almost fifty and the time of my awakening predicted by Guides, Guardians, and psychics had arrived. I knew a Transforming Light was approaching. I could not comprehend what it would be or how it would manifest. I knew that my illness and the dark obstacles that loomed in my life were, as obstacles always are, but stepping-stones that would lead me to that Light. I knew that when the moment came for it to fill the sky, I would be ready and that I would have the Spiritual Warrior by my side. We would be in the right place to make the choice we came into this lifetime to make. I believed that is the very reason we all were here now. To make a choice. At that moment-this time-we would choose to turn and face the Light that would illuminate the path to the Rainbow Bridge. We would choose to cross that bridge and leave behind a world that resonated with darkness and separation and step into a landscape that is the New Earth, transformed and healed, resonating with Light and unity. We would make those choices. No matter what they were.
By May 12, 1997 the reality shared by the Mass Consciousness had shadowed and that world for me was very dark. A mysterious illness that defied conventional treatment had immobilized me and, in the ways of the mundane world, held me captive. On that day, as in the days and months before it, I remained in Stillness. Waiting. On that unremarkable day an unexpected request and my equally unexpected choice to honor it resulted in a momentary movement out of the Stillness. On that day the energy of Creation began to subtly flow from the Stillness. On that day the focus of my life slowly began to change. The resulting slow shift ultimately changed me forever and also changed the world in which I existed.
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